If you would’ve asked me half a year ago if I thought I would be able to survive without my ex-boyfriend I would have totally said “no!” Break ups are not easy and that is a complete understatement. I was in that relationship for more than 7 years and it felt like for many of that time it was an on and off relationship. Our first years together were not easy at all… wait I don’t think any of our time together was easy. I don’t mean to say that all other relationships are perfect and “easy” but ours was not the best from the very start. This isn’t to say that we didn’t have any kind of good because there are so many great memories I will hold on to for the rest of my life. After 7+ years of being together when I started to realize that we just weren’t meant to be together it was extremely difficult for me to actually want to do anything about it. I could either deal with a very tough break up and start fresh or just settle and for a very long time settling seemed like the better option. I was extremely scared of letting go. Every single time I thought about not being with him I’d do the – Who will I spend my time with? What am I going to do without him? Who will help me when I need help? Who will text me every morning? … and the silly questions went on and on and on. I’d think about how much I’d miss his family and his lovely dog. I really truly couldn’t imagine my life without him but we just weren’t happy anymore and it seemed like we were both having a hard time letting go. I couldn’t possibility tell you what helped me build up the courage to let go. It’s been one of the toughest things I have gone through thus far.
I write this not to dwell on the negative of it all and to talk about how difficult it has been but to maybe let someone else who is dealing with the same situation know that they can do it! It won’t be the end of the world. We deserve to feel happiness in our daily lives and regardless of how wonderful a person can be sometimes we aren’t meant to be with them. I strongly believe that we are destined to find our other half – someone who will make us a better person and bring out the best in us. If the person you are sharing your time with isn’t doing this then maybe you aren’t meant to be. I am no philosopher but I’d say I truly have first-hand experience with this and I don’t want to keep this all to myself.
It’s been a couple of months now and I am alive. I have learned so much about myself and I am a better person. The silly little things that were keeping me from making a change in my life are the least of my worries now and thankfully I am in a better place. Some days it doesn’t seem real to me yet but I am extremely thankful for my strength and my sanity.
Be brave! You will survive without him.
